My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
