why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
there's paper in my vomit.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Come see our sink grown plant.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
im calling her cock vulture from now on
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just had sex on a roof
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
