Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
