their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
