More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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