Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
nutella sex= disaster
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
