Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
