Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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