I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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