whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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