ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
