it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I need to calm my uterus...
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