i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
