That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I will be naked everywhere
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
