I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Randomize
