I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You pole danced in your parka.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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