he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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