I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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