Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
