But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
