Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Hippo gnu deer
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
