He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
