We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
