I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
