he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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