I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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