how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
