You really coming over, don't trick.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
