we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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