He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I need moral support for this bender
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
