k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
