Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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