Whats the glycemic index on semen?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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