Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
