Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize