We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
