Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
