brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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