If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
