i don't like sucking hair
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I think your dad took our porno
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Randomize
