and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
