discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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