She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
