How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
