It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
