Im at strip club and am horny
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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