i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
