I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize