We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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