drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
