If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
