But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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