I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
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