There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
