i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
