I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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