There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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