he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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