At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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