I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
