Ambien. No doubt about it.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
